The Perfect Trainer (II) - Fabian

So it's March now, I'm in my late 30s -not only older but also wiser, I hope-, I've been on my fitness journey for about 2 years and I'm on the Fast Track to Fat Loss program. I've already lost over 35 lbs with them, but I'm experiencing a plateau. And --- there are many runners in the FTFL Community, who are constantly reminding me of one of my most ambitious -but never accomplished- dreams: RUNNING.

Why running? I need a whole blog entry to explain it. I'd skip the topic this time.

For many people, putting on their sport outfit and going out of their homes is all it takes to start running. But it's not my case. I need to be trained and watched. First of all, I've never ever run. Second, I can't run 1K decently, and I WANT to be able to run a 5K some day, so I need help with that. Third, an old ailment (I broke my tibia in 3 parts 13 years ago, as well as my fibula) has been bothering me for the last 3 months. So I need a running coach, and that's why I've started looking for one.

I came across Fabian's ad on the Internet, it stated he was a certified personal trainer. His picture was there, too -just one of his face, a portrait- and he didn't seem the best looking guy, but I wasn't going to decide on the basis of the guy's sex appeal this time. I just wanted a coach who could help me start working on my goal - running. His ad said, "if you run, I run with you", "we can improve your times", etc. So it sounded perfect. Besides, the price for a session with him was reasonable, so it didn't take me too long to make up my mind.

I wrote to his e-mail address and got a reply soon. He seemed kind and attentive. I made it clear to him that I just needed a running coach. I told him that I had my own nutrition and workout plans, that I worked out alone at home, and that I already had a virtual trainer to review and check what I was doing. I emphasised I only needed him to help me start running. He said he understood, and we agreed to meet.

So we met. We exchanged mobile numbers and made an appointment for a Friday at 5 pm. Friday was my day off. We had arranged to meet on a well-known corner in the heart of a big city. I recognised him immediately (although he looked better in his pic). He did not look like either the typical Gym beast or an athlete. It didn't bother me, though. If he was knowledgeable and helped me with my goals, that was all I needed.

For our first meeting, we talked about my goals, my recent history with weight loss, my nutrition, my workouts. He agreed with many of the things I said, and added some useful information. He said all we would do then was walk. He would test my endurance and rythm while walking. On our way, we went through a couple of parks; he showed them to me so that we could choose one to work out in. I was a bit disappointed because I wanted to start running right away, but I didn't say anything because I took it for granted he knew what he was doing - we could always start running during the following session.

Everything was OK until he disagreed with a few things I said about my workouts and my nutrition. And then he replied he could help me better with my weight loss program. He said next time he was going to show me more effective things to do so that I could choose. I really didn't want to choose anything, I had my own fitness plan and I'd made it clear from the very beginning. He sort of made me be defensive about what I was doing. I've learnt by experience that, no matter if you're following the best fitness program, sometimes all you need is TO BELIEVE in your program to make it work for you. I felt some discomfort, then, as he was questioning something I really believed in. 

Almost at the end of our walk, I told him I was feeling a bother in my calves. "I need to stretch", I said. When we reached our final destination, he said goodbye and "see you next time" - no stretching. I found myself alone in the middle of a crowded avenue, with sore hamstrings. And I went back home, wondering what I should do.

Should I give Fabian a second chance or not? I had a few things to ponder. If I couldn't get on well with a trainer from the beginning, and if he made me feel embarrassed from Day 1, was it worth trying again? Of course we didn't need to hit it off since the first "hi", and it surely takes some time to get to understand what your client expects from you, what he wants, etc. But from my point of view, although you might be actually seeing your client needs something different from what he wants, as a trainer you should be able to find a way to make your client realise it, always with a sense of respect and kindness. Maybe as time went by I might have accepted this guy could be of help in other areas. He could have used a different approach, he could have tried to earn my respect first and then, I don't know, used some dialectic conversation to make me reflect on what I was doing to lose weight...  And then, suggested me something. But he didn't do this, he challenged my beliefs during our first session and made me repeat "I believe in what I'm doing, I don't need anything else as regards fat loss". Besides, it seemed he hadn't listened to me carefully when I said I just needed a running coach, or even when I said I needed to stretch out.


I concluded Fabian had not met my needs, and I wouldn't give him a second chance. It was my time and my money, and they were both valuable to me.

And now, I needed to find a new trainer...